The most confronting truth for us to CONFESS to another will be the very thing that makes our ego cringe, but our hearts breathe, a sigh of relief.
My most disappointing truth to CONFESS consistently as I age is that I still need help and loving emotional connection. I do not like it at times.
My therapist in very early sessions told me I was the opposite of a co-dependent.
I had learnt to be anti-dependent when it came to relationships, but I would become co-dependent on drugs and alcohol. I’d run away from two marriages by the time I hit 40.
So learning to maintain emotional middle ground to become a healthy interdependent person in relationships has not been an easy road for me. My hardest CONFESSIONS are always about admitting I need help with my addictions and loving emotional connection for my heart to continue to heal and grow.
Love is a necessity for our heart’s survival. It does not mean we have to be married or even in a relationship to allow love in our hearts. Love for life will keep our heart’s spirit alive, even if we are imprisoned.
So as a recovering addict and anti-dependent I chisel away each day at the old walls that have kept me imprisoned and my heart distant from others.
I have had some people say to me they think it is dangerous and unwise to CONFESS so much of my truth so publicly via the written word. I respectfully must agree to disagree.
For them that may be the case, to each their own.
However, for someone like me it is far more dangerous to remain anti-dependent and emotionally enslaved in fear. The only person capable of bringing me absolutely undone these days is me.
Many criticise and disagree with the act of CONFESSION, not understanding in great vulnerability lays the gift of a divine tenderness, strength and the ultimate currency in life, self-respect.
I learnt long ago when my first ‘reveal all’ book A Helping Hand with Life hit the top 10 bestseller list back in 2000 to not emotionally invest in anyone else’s approval when I write, that leaves the writer far too vulnerable for sure.
The only person I must convince and CONFESS my whole truth to when I write or speak publicly is me. You cannot bullshit a professional bullshitter, and I was a person that evaded speaking my heart’s truth to myself for the first 33 years of my life. It nearly killed me.
One beautiful thing I have learnt about the practise of CONFESSION is that if it comes from my heart it has a far better chance of reaching my audience’s heart.
You may not like me nor what I communicate and if that is the case I have still succeeded. For learning what we do not agree with is just as important as learning about what we do. So my question is …
“What is the hardest truth for your ego to CONFESS to your heart?”
And with CONFESSION it is not a do it once only deal.
To get Emotionally Fit, like with getting physically fit, we have to continually invest working at chipping away the walls through the ritual of CONFESSION. We do not go to the gym once and expect our body to run a marathon. Therefore we do not CONFESS once and expect total emotional freedom instantly.
It is a process, it takes time.
Some of us have thicker walls around our hearts than others.
I personally need to get on my knees and start with CONFESSING to Mother Nature and Father Time whenever I am lost in the dangerous jungle of my own ego’s fears and I need help.
When I’ve slowly crept back to my old fearful ways of anti-dependence, shutting love for myself out, I get so very lost and emotionally disoriented. If I do this for prolonged periods my old addictive desires surface.
Love is our compass and brings peace and clear direction back to our hearts.
For addicts our substance abuse is all about getting to a state of chemically induced peace, for without love in our own hearts we remain enslaved, imprisoned in our fear. The word ‘addiction’ itself is Latin, which translates to mean enslavement.
For many introverts like me the written word and the World Wide Web is a divine tool, it is a private way in solitude to connect with those we choose to and share our journey. How much or what we CONFESS it up to us.
CONFESSIONALS have been a part of spiritual practices since the beginning of time.
When I speak about spirit I simply mean our heart, our love, our truth. Whatever our method of CONFESSION it is imperative to have one to maintain our Emotional Fitness as we mature. Our ritual of CONFESSION may be with our God or Higher Power, a priest, spiritual healer, therapist, grandparent, parent or lover.
As adults we must ensure it is always with another adult. Children’s heart’s are far too tender to be used as CONFESSIONALS for adult issues. As a child who carried the excess baggage of elder CONFESSIONS I’ve learnt this weight is far too bigger ask on any little person or teen.
I would like to take this moment in time to thank you with all my heart for sharing and supporting these words as a CONFESSIONAL portal with me. You may choose to ponder for yourself where and whom you practise your CONFESSIONAL ritual with.
It is a powerful way to emotionally detox and unpack baggage that our tired heart been carrying for far too long. Sometimes the baggage is not even ours we are still carrying, but an elder’s or someone we have loved who dumped it with us and we picked it up for them out of love. But out of loving self-preservation for ourselves there comes a time when we must put it down, let it go and walk away. Or it will emotionally bury us.
The worst prisons we are ever trapped in are always of our own making in adult life. As a result we end up being either a needy co-dependent where we rely on others to carry our emotional baggage for us.
Or we become (like me) an anti-dependent where we have developed a habit of carrying everyone else’s emotional baggage and thus find relationships something we are always trying to escape from.
The sacred ritual of CONFESSION allows us to come home to our own heart and its truth, enabling us to not give up on love, beauty and hope no matter what our external situation.
Only then can we be truly free.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.