A message of comfort and a toast today to the too often forgotten, brave children who needed to break up with their toxic, wounded, emotionally and physically violent mothers to save their sanity and their life.
You and I deserve recognition for completing the hardest break-up known to the human heart. Whether it was because of an addiction, a compulsive need to put you down, an ex-communication, an inability to give and receive love, or just the turmoil of dealing with a broken woman, we had to do something that most people regard as taboo. And that takes courage.
MOTHERHOOD has the greatest potential influence in human life.
For some of us access to our biological MOTHERS remains an unavailable option.
Whenever we are in crises or celebrating life on our birthdays, MOTHER’S days or at festive family times like Christmas, our heart, whether we want to or not, will remember our MOTHERS.
Many human hearts are traumatised if the umbilical love connection that is our birthright to our MOTHER … is severed. Sometimes death, adoption, addiction, violence, emotional neglect, illness or geographical distance are the reasons.
The MOTHER heart wound is the MOTHER of all wounds for it cuts us to our core and bring us to our knees. I mention often about the unspoken quiet, yet deep wounds many carry that can bring us to our knees in sheer emotional overwhelm or even guilt and that is the “MOTHER” wound. This is a painful heart wound that all of our good intentions, steely determination, physical fitness, denial and psychological wisdom at times seems unable to heal, especially on days when we need our MOTHERS.
The beautiful truth I’ve experienced in my life is that heart healing of the MOTHER wound can only be done when we become willing to be grateful for what we do have rather than focus on what we don’t.
Another tip, the best antidepressant for me if gratitude seems hard to sustain when Western culture’s “perfect family day rituals” arise, is to invest time with MOTHER NATURE. Her gentle, silent and reliable wisdom will heal for us those wounds that a human’s best efforts cannot.
For me on my birthday, on MOTHER’S days and at Christmas time I turn to MOTHER NATURE first thing in the morning before I start the day. I remind myself and many of my Emotional Fitness clients who are also healing their MOTHER wound that MOTHER NATURE is the true source of our heart’s unique nature before our biological parent’s influences.
So when we feel emotionally orphaned grieving a healthy relationship with a MOTHER who has passed or is geographically inaccessible, a swim, a quiet sit on a lawn or a beach, or a gentle stroll can soothe and help heal the pain.
Others like me that struggle with unhealthy MOTHER relationships dredging up old toxic feelings of being an undeserving, flawed, wrong and guilt-laden child taught we are nothing but an unwanted problem and a burden.
MOTHER NATURE will also welcome us with open arms and heal us too. A compassionate MOTHER’S NATURE is what every child craves. The feminine that knows how to nurture us and speak beauty and comfort to our tired hearts can always be found in MOTHER NATURE’S lap. For some of us she speaks through our garden, our pets, a sunset or sunrise, the trees, the mountains, a thunderstorm, rainbow or the ocean.
She is a beautiful, reliable, wise universal law unto herself like gravity that we can always depend upon and I mean in “all ways” for she’s provided a smorgasbord for us to choose from. But too often we forget she’s there for us.
When we become willing to cease viewing our MOTHER through the grief of a child’s eyes, but with the love, gratitude and grace of an adult for what we’ve learnt, even if it’s what not to do in life, can we then freely heal.
So if you like me feel just a little fragile when MOTHER-based family festivities occur, try to focus on all you are blessed with now in this present day. Gratitude is a free, powerful and natural antidepressant, and by the way … My maternal writer’s heart loves being here for you too, if that is any comfort.
Lots of love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™