“A WOMAN who follows the crowd usually goes no further than the crowd. The WOMAN who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no-one has ever been before” ….
Albert Einstein so wisely advises us.
My Emotional Fitness clients, both male and female, often ask me for my take on what makes emotionally empowered WOMEN. My response is simply this …
“A girl, in order to become a WOMAN, needs to go through her ‘rite of passage’ and learn to leave the crowd. She needs to let go of what is popular with other females and relinquish her focus on winning their approval. Especially her ‘mother figures’ approval”
Some females have emotionally disempowered, deceased or absent mothers; so maybe a sister, perhaps their grandmother, a school teacher or even a best friend becomes the Queen Bee or the matriarch and representative of what it means to be WOMEN of worth in this world. A girl must take eventually find the courage to take the trainer wheels off and risk falling a few times alone, away from the crowd and the matriarch, before she gains, then masters her own emotional centre of gravity. When a female learns to honour her heart’s truth even, if it means disapproval from the crowd and the Queen Bee, and be true to herself, only then can she find her centre and gain emotional balance and momentum in her life.
When we honour our own feminine strength, only then can we truly honour, rather than be threatened by, other women’s strength.
For me my rite of passage and time to grow up occurred at age 33. I was married and the mother of two boys aged seven and nine. Emotionally I was still a girl afraid and unsure of how to own my own strength without being alienated by other females.
When I chose to get clean and sober some female family members and friends were extremely unhappy with me finding my own voice then leaving the ‘norm’, the pack, changing my social habits. It was very unpleasant standing alone at first, but far more painful to continue to conform for their approval and compromise my own self-respect.
I’ve encountered many females in their 40s, 50s and 60s that emotionally are still girls, eroding their self-respect, compromising their truth as they continue to conform for the approval of other females.
So as we review this wonderful word WOMEN, here’s a few tips I have observed that differentiate girls from real WOMEN.
A WOMAN possesses conflict resolution skills, does not hold grudges and moves on.
A WOMAN can and will say sorry when she has got it wrong.
A WOMAN is concerned with meeting her loved one’s needs to the very best of her ability.
A WOMAN is able to articulate her own emotional needs in a mature way.
A WOMAN is financially responsible yet generous.
A WOMAN doesn’t keep a lover around for what he/she can do for her, but only because she loves them and loves the way they love her.
A WOMAN’S strength does not come from lifting weights, but from lifting herself back up when she gets knocked down.
Empowered WOMEN refuse to be a victim, instead we become our own hero.
I will finish my little soapbox rant on WOMANHOOD now by sharing a little quote from a WOMAN I have admired for so many reasons since I was a girl. The divine Meryl Streep …
“Integrate what you believe in every single area of your life. Take your heart to work and ask the best of yourself and everybody else too” What a WOMAN!
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™