NOT GOOD ENOUGH
When feelings of being NOT GOOD ENOUGH crosses our path it is an alarm that a heart wound is ready for healing.
Feeling disposable because we’re NOT GOOD ENOUGH is usually an old and deep wound that takes time and repetitive and deliberate self-care to heal, as it will have taken time and repetition to create.
It is painful and unsettling when another person’s presence lifts our protective bandages of denial that has covered our human heart’s wounding around our value and worth.
The most helpful suggestion I can offer when treating a heart that feels they will be eventually replaced as soon as someone ‘better’ comes along is first to remember to be gentle and respectful.
Second, it is not about the other person we or they are threatened by, the other person merely triggers the heart memory of someone who has been insensitive in the past.
The third tip is to remember about those of us taught to believe they’re NOT GOOD ENOUGH is that this wound is created through a valid injustice at some point by a person of emotional significance. More often than not the wound first pierced the heart within the family of origin. A sibling, or with only children, a parent or competitors outside the family have been set up to compete against this heart to go to war and fight for approval and love. The threat of having love withdrawn and being told they just don’t measure up because they are undeserving or just NOT GOOD ENOUGH is crippling to an innocent young heart.
These wounds of separation in childhood are in the past; nonetheless, the wound needs attention in the present as opportunities arise.
So let us not judge this insecurity harshly if and when it presents in our world.
The heart that has been taught it has no long-term value because they have never really been GOOD ENOUGH is battle weary. This person’s heart needs to be reminded the war is over, so they can put down their sword now and cease trying to prove themselves.
The NOT GOOD ENOUGH heart feels invisible so let’s take time to acknowledge the beauty and worth of this battered and bruised person. It may even be us.
It is so very important to be willing to kiss this fragile heart with soothing words of love and give this heart the gift they have been too long deprived of.
Let’s become more willing to remind those feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH that they have great value and that their individuality and uniqueness is a treasured gift in our lives? And that they are and always have been more than GOOD ENOUGH and deserving of love and respect just as they are.
One last tip. Anyone that consistently tells us we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH is corrosive to our self-respect. If any relationship is based on sending us the message that we are less than our heart needs to self-honour and step back in self-preservation, for we are better off without them!
When it comes to reminding myself to relax and remember that I am enough, I do enough and I have enough I re-read this beautifully simple, truthful, anonymous quote …
“Some people won’t ever love you no matter what you do right and some people won’t ever stop loving you no matter what you do wrong, so go to where the love is.”
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™