Cynical

“Most CYNICS are really crushed romantics; they’ve been hurt, they are sensitive and their CYNICISM is a shell that is protecting this really tiny, dear part in themselves struggling to survive”

Well this is one description to consider that was once articulated by actor Jeff Bridges after filming the compelling movie The Fisher King with Robin Williams.

I must confess I tend to find some truth in his descriptive words as I work with many CYNICAL clients in jails and rehabs.

If we look to the dictionary to unpack this word a little more, a CYNIC is described as a person who believes that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honourable or unselfish reasons.

CYNICS are the sceptics, the doubting Thomases, wet blankets and pessimistic doom-mongers among us.

Some of us identify with going through phases in life where we have been an unapologetic CYNIC. I for one once was while emotionally medicating from childhood abuse with booze and drugs.

Thankfully those days are now a distant memory. I have discovered throughout my own personal journey and while working with others that where there is a lack of love towards self or others there is an abundance of CYNICISM.

If we are filled with disappointment, fear and have been deeply wounded by our lack of self-care or by those we have loved it’s tough to speak, listen to loving dialogue or watch others in love.

It can make us want to puke in fact!

When another was acting lovingly towards me in my past my first thought to myself was often “Yeah, yeah, cut the crap, what do you want?”

If our heart is wounded often enough and deep enough we shut up shop, closing our heart’s emotive doors. We don’t allow anyone access and move into surface living in our ego. If they are lucky children might get granted a VIP pass into our heart’s library from time to time, but nobody else. Our intellect becomes the new dictator of our being, so that only those things that can be proven in our physical reality are the given credibility. All the while denying ourselves our heart’s innate desire to hope, dream, plan for a better future, love and be loved.

If we deny our heart’s yearning for love we become heartless, CYNICAL bitches and bastards to be honest. So when working with a new CYNICAL client I start by following their relationship’s threads, for it often reveals a well-protected romantic but wounded heart. When we live in our ego everything has a cost. Everyone has a price and can be bought and sold on the material plane. There is no heartfelt loyalty in a world where humans are told to leave their emotions at the door, operating in ego on remote control.

The CYNICS master trading on intellectual and physical assets, accumulating external wealth while remaining emotionally bankrupt.

The ultimate currency in life is self-respect and when we deprive ourselves from love everything else becomes meaningless. We lose self-respect if we neglect our human heartfelt desire to love and be loved. It is a precious and priceless gift that requires great care, not neglect.

So if there is a CYNIC in your midst, or you notice you are becoming one, it is never too late to unlock your heart’s protective doors.

May I suggest that instead of insensitive blame or shame towards ourselves, others and love … compassion and respect can work wonders. When our heart’s doors slam shut it’s so very often due to the fact that pain and fear have overwhelmed us.

If we become willing to speak, listen to and see more love in our world, our emotional bank account starts to replenish.

An abundance of self-respect is the best currency to trade in, for as we grow older the interest accumulates. However, for the CYNIC as time passes interest in love and life only diminishes.

Oscar Wilde sums up this message superbly ….

“What is a CYNIC? A person who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”