Endings

Sometimes relationships turn a bit Looney Tunes, and we have gotta say ….. “That’s all folks” and tune out because we’ve turned off.

ENDINGS are tough on our heart.

It is rare that all is tickety boo with the other party if we instigate the ENDING. Hearing the accusatory statements like …..

“How could you, after everything I’ve done for you, how could you do this to me?”

Often followed by a herding of their troupes gathering those who know both you and them to sometimes gang up and character assassinate the one who dared leave

Nobody enjoys being left by a significant other. Intimate friendships, family members, lovers and spouses do not focus on ENDINGS we are not designed that way, so when they happen we all feel upset.

ENDINGS also occur when there is a death of someone close to us or even significant to our emotional era. JFK, Elvis or any terrorist attack leaves us all overwhelmed with emotion at human love and life ENDING. Even if the person is sick and not given long to survive their anticipated death will still create deep grief as the physical ENDING of a life wrenches the hearts of those they loved who are left behind.

It is recommended in processing any ENDING that we allow a minimum of 18 months for the initial critical grieving process to occur. Great denial, anger and sadness accompany any love or life ENDING and are emotional responses that the patient and wise understand, support and expect

When we are the ones that don’t initiate the ENDING but are caught off guard and in shock we too wonder why and may find ourselves too expressing the very same question …..

“How could you, after everything I’ve done for you, how could you do this to me?”

We leave and we are left, as love and life require us to learn how to emotionally endure ENDINGS.

Sometimes we deliberately avoid new beginnings because what we are really trying to do is to intercept thus avoid any potential ENDINGS.

Some of us are better with beginnings; others are more emotionally experienced with ENDINGS. I am one of those people who are far more comfortable with ENDINGS than beginning. In hindsight I must confess I chose past lovers based on a safe exit route if ever required. You know, choosing partners with both eyes open that drink or drug too much, workaholics, men who cheat or anyone who has an Achilles heel of emotional unavailability. That meant I could blame their emotional shortcoming on why I had to leave, and come quickly and cleanly through this pre-established exit route when required

I recall before remarrying my deep anxiety at walking down the aisle, pledging a vow to stay with a man until death do us part, yet again. I was on my knees in my underwear in prayer to a God of my understanding. The letters G.O.D. for me stand for Great Out Door. I pray to Mother Nature and Father Time for my heart is ignited with a spiritual flow of love when I connect to nature and honour the “one day at a time” principle. So I was on my knees pleading to the Universe for comfort for my anxiety when Beautiful Barb walked into the room.

“I am so shit at this Barb, I am so afraid of making this commitment again”. I confessed and Barb wisely responded with …

“Love, you are not afraid of this marriage ENDING, you are afraid of it working out”.

She was so damned right. ENDINGS had been a safe way to intercept emotional growth up until I met Mr. Delicious. Staying in a non Looney Tunes relationship where the man I love is sane, safe and emotionally available has required a new level of emotional muscle for me.

How about you?

Today’s Word Vitamin invites you to review whether you use ENDINGS to process grief, learn and heal from, or hide from life and love with.

That’s all folks …

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello” Paulo Coehlo

Lotsa love Cynthia xxx

This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift for someone you care about just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.

Image Source: Looney Tunes