BOSSYFUSSBUM is a perfect title for me when I am emotionally out of balance.

When my heart’s GPS system has gone offline I become controlling, pedantic and quite frankly a pain in the bum!

We can use this term with ourselves affectionately to tickle our sense of humour and help us have a good laugh at ourselves.

Sometimes we’ve gotta deliberately remember to not take ourselves too seriously or punish ourselves for not being everything to everyone all the time.

I find any time I, or anyone I am working with, is telling me about BOSSYFUSSBUMNESS more often than not a heart plug has been kicked out of its socket so the culprit internally feels a loss of personal power. When this happens we go into ego. We get lost when our intellect and our actions are not connected to our heart’s intuitive GPS system. When we feel internally out of control, our need for external control often get catastrophised.

So many of us don’t know how, or are unwilling to, honour basic feelings of hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness. So it stands to reason if we don’t honour basic fundamentals in our relationship with ourselves, how do we stand a chance of honouring any more complex feelings?

If we don’t cope with basic self-care how the hell do we cope with the bigger, more complex feelings that all humans experience from time to time like grief, jealousy, shame, hope and love? They take a lot of heart to handle well, and if our heart is disconnected our ego takes over … enter BOSSYFUSSBUM behaviour.

Most of us get too busy and complacent about consistently honouring our relationship with how we truly feel.

I used to blame people, places and things when my life got out of balance, as I preferred to look outward rather than inward. I now know that the quality of my life depends on my relationship with me. When I am ok and at peace with me, others bother me less and my BOSSYFUSSBUM behavior dissolves.

I am as I type looking at the sticker on the stapler that sits neatly and deliberately aligned next to my laptop and tape dispenser. The fluorescent pink sticker reads, “Please return to Ms BOSSYFUSSBUM’S desk”.

It makes me smile at myself every time I notice it. You see I am a Virgo, Year of the Tiger, neat freak who derives so much pleasure and internal comfort out of visual order. I put a sticker on my stapler a few years ago as a friendly way to honour and remind myself of my own humanness. I will undoubtedly become at any given moment a BOSSYFUSSBUM if I don’t keep my heart’s GPS system connected.

If I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired it is like pulling the plug from my heart. I go from being directed with love and balance to lost in fear and confusion. And when I feel internally out of control the BOSSYFUSSBUM bitchiness goes into overdrive and tries to control people, places and things.

So as we review this warning-sign word BOSSYFUSSBUM, let’s remember this behaviour in ourselves or others signals internal overwhelm.

It’s time to take to take some deliberate “time in” with ourselves and “time out” from everyone and everything else.

More often than not the cure for BOSSYFUSSBUMNESS is in simply checking in to see if deep down we are hungry, angry, lonely or tired. If so we need to stop neglecting ourselves, offering the same gentle care and support to ourselves as we would to someone we love who needed a good meal, a heart-to-heart download, a hug or a snooze.

Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™

This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.


Cynthia Morton

Managing Director

Cynthia Morton is a bestselling Author, Blogger, Speaker and Founder of the multi award winning Emotional Fitness Program.