Being free to love and be loved is the greatest adventure life offers us. It is also the greatest challenge for it means surrendering our ego in the name of love. Not surrendering, however, our self-respect, our voice, nor our authentic opinion … just our ego.
A coward survives in the ego.
The BRAVE live in the wholly human trinity. Head, heart and body. Thoughts, feelings and actions working in harmony create a gentleman and a gentlewoman. We then become the whole relationship package, the real deal.
Opportunities to love will cross our paths. Love, heartfelt love, not ego-driven relationships are a BRAVE journey to undertake for any of us. We embark knowing that love and life offers none of us any guarantees. It is an equal playing field for us all. Loving relationships are most definitely not for the faint-hearted. Once the romantic honeymoon phase evolves into deeper intimacy requiring conflict resolution, respectful anger and compassion for sadness then the necessity to become BRAVER versions of ourselves arises.
Will we fight for our ego, or surrender to love? Surrendering does not mean becoming a doormat, just a grown-up who is more willing to find compromise and compassion than win at any cost.
To sustain our Emotional Fitness in relationships we become willing to find new tools, new language and a new patience. The BRAVE heart requires innovation, tenacity, kindness, laughter and tears, welcoming these necessities with ourselves and our loved one.
The three little phrases I repeat often help build and sustain our emotional muscles from a multitude of angles. We are often at our BRAVEST when we say any of these sentences to our loved one with an open heart …
1. I love you
2. I am sorry
3. Please help me understand
Most of us have an Achilles heel when it comes to being BRAVE. Which of these three sentences are you most afraid of saying, most often? Where we have reluctance or emotional resistance is where we need to focus the most.
Number three, asking for help in understanding, used to be my biggest battle. For many lone wolves like me we feel safer not relying on anyone, or letting anybody close in order to avoid vulnerability. However, if we heighten our awareness and do our emotional workouts focused on our areas of weakness we grow stronger. I am at my BRAVEST when I surrender to the fact that I need help often understanding others. If I get confused I feel unsafe. To remedy feeling emotionally unsafe we need to give ourselves permission to be BRAVE, not give our power away, and ask sometimes confronting questions of ourselves and others.
We also need to give ourselves permission to let those we love know we love them, not just sometimes, but often. Love like bread is best made fresh every day. Letting those we love know daily that we cherish and adore them builds intimacy and a sense of safety and joy. The BRAVE of heart freely say, “I love you” whenever the desire arises.
Saying sorry when we are wrong is also BRAVE for some of us who are not yet comfortable putting love before our ego. It takes time and deliberate practice and builds respect between two hearts.
To be BRAVE we have to take wholehearted risks. Our head, heart and body need experiential adventures together engaging our common sense in order to fully make sense of this big life.
What are you waiting for? Why not plant an unsuspecting gentle kiss on someone you love today.
Be BRAVE, be silly, be kind, be you!
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™