Those who are great at COMMUNICATING, remind me of great chefs. A thought-provoking, heart-pounding, meaningful conversation for me can be as nourishing and memorable as a superb meal.
I share within my Daily Word Vitamins my view on the difference between good and great quite a few times, so please indulge me as I repeat myself. What transforms good into great is attention to detail. Those who take time to observe, listen, learn and then add with great care their personal touch leave the pack of those who are good and stand alone in their greatness.
A great COMMUNICATOR is Emotionally Fit in the art of listening, observing and remaining open to learning from whomever is speaking to them. No matter if it is a three-year-old child, a homeless person, a celebrity, their lover or their Nanna, they give their full attention. A powerful COMMUNICATOR will then select their responsive words wisely. Like a great chef chooses the best produce, a great COMMUNICATOR knows how to use their words creatively, responsibly and with great respect.
One of my favorite wordsmiths ‘Jeff Brown’ sums up the powerful importance of words in his quote ….
“Words. So powerful. The can crush a heart or heal it. They can shame a soul or liberate it. They can shatter dreams or energise them. They can obstruct connection or invite it. They can create defences or melt them. We have to use words wisely”.
Here’s a little Emotional Fitness workout for you to privately self-assess whether you are a poor, good or great COMMUNICATOR.
1. Do you choose and use your words wisely when COMMUNICATING?
2. Are you a good listener or do you consistently talk over others, interrupt or get up and leave if they say something too confronting for your ego?
3. Do you say a lot of shit that sounds good, telling others what they want to hear?
4. Do you mean what you say and say what you mean?
5. Is your word as solid and trustworthy as a handshake?
6. If you have given your word can others rely on it 100%, or do you often go back on your word without explanation?
How did you score?
Prior to 1995 when I was drinking and drug-taking to excess, I would have scored zero out of six. I used to find myself participating in a lot of bullshit dialogue because my heart was not invited into the conversation. My ego was running the COMMUNICATION output in my life. The majority of my conversations were all about a battle of wits, only interested in winning, impressing, seducing or being included and heard. Often what I was COMMUNICATING had nothing at all to do with my truth.
“The words you speak, become the house you live in” Hafiz reminds us. I felt shithouse about my own integrity in those days.
What kind of words do you choose to house your heart in when COMMUNICATING?
Fast-food words chosen by our ego leave us feeling disappointed and uncomfortable with ourselves after we have binged on fear. However, slow-cooked, aromatic, nourishing, heartfelt words leave us and others feeling nourished and comfortable, grateful for the companionship.
The practice of digesting one word, one day at a time, has helped me detox, then reframe my whole vocabulary and become an apprentice at speaking language of the heart. If we speak from our ego only we engage other’s egos. If we master speaking from our hearts we are better able to touch another’s heart. When hearts touch, even if only on a page or screen, a seed of love is released into the world.
Words that used to upset and confuse me no longer do. Like an apprentice chef learns from great masters about the personality of each individual herb, the reasons for subtle and strong cheeses and the art of getting a soufflé to rise, it’s all about detail, detail, detail. We too can learn from the world’s word masters, the Michelin Star language greats of past and present.
The literary world is full of great WORDSMITHS, writers, comedians, musicians, actors and poets who have mastered (like the great chefs) how to hand pick with an open, educated and wise heart …. each and every word.
The likes of Tennessee Williams, Dylan Thomas, Dorothy Parker, Truman Capote, Billie Holiday, William Wordsworth, Jack Kerouac, Marianne Williamson, Sylvia Plath, Jack London, Hank Williams, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Oscar Wilde, Jeff Brown, Elvis Presley, Edgar Allan Poe, William Butler Yeats and yes my beloved dear Uncle Ernie (Ernest Hemingway) are just a few. And the list goes on and on. My point being, there is so much to learn about great COMMUNICATION from these and many more timeless masters. Just as there is so much to learn about great food from amazing chefs. If we keep our heart open to the wonder of learning new ways to improve our COMMUNICATION skills we become Emotionally Fitter in speaking fluent language of the heart.
Like attracts like.
If you are an ego-only COMMUNICATOR (speaking from the head about facts and figures without feeling) those who prefer to speak the language of the heart will disengage quickly. However, if you become more fluent in speaking the language of the heart (because you study your own heart well) and choose with care the words your heart loves to select, you can then commence cooking up more beautifully nourishing conversations within your immediate community.
I don’t drink or drug any more, however, with my nearest and dearest I often feel wonderfully high after our get-togethers. Great conversation is exhilarating. I savor it. My heart salivates with anticipation of time spent chatting with my loved ones. Regardless of whether we share a meal or just a cuppa, I am blessed to have attracted great COMMUNICATORS within my intimate heart community.
Of course we cannot give away what we have not got. If we don’t take time out with ourselves to listen and learn from our own heart’s truth we will have little to offer a table of love. It’s a wise investment to take time to learn more about words so we can choose quality words that complement our truth and nourish ourselves and others.
Thank you for taking the time to digest this Word Vitamin with me as I offer my heartfelt take on this word COMMUNICATION. I would just like to finish off today’s dish with a little cherry on top from a wordsmith chef, Rollo May …
“COMMUNICATION leads to COMMUNITY creating understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.”
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.