Whenever we feel out of CONTROL in our internal emotional world we often start to try to CONTROL others in our external physical world.
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed and powerless indicates our childhood wounds are surfacing for healing; let’s face facts, some of us still have a few.
An emotionally empowered adult can process fear and ask for help when confused or upset; patience and tolerance with ourselves and others is a skill of maturity.
When we observe our uncontrollable reflex to CONTROL people, situations and objects this indicates past feelings of powerlessness that require attention and healing. When we catch ourselves telling off a seatbelt for not co-operating or swearing at our computer … this behaviour is an alarm from our past unresolved beliefs from youth about ourselves or the world surfacing.
The old wound might sound something like …
“Nothing goes right for me, nobody wants to support me, everyone …. even my computer hates me”!
So let’s remember we all have moments where the powerless times in our past leak into our present.
If we don’t heal ourselves we harm ourselves.
To become free from fear-driven childish CONTROL we need to self-parent with emotional maturity by practising compassion and supportive patience. I will let you know when I have mastered it. I am still a recovering CONTROL freak, but Emotional Fitness is all about progress not perfection, thank God for that!
When I think of CONTROL my favourite poster boy from Seinfield sums up this behaviour beautifully, “The Soup Nazi”. And OMG I can catch myself still in Soup Nazi mode if I neglect self-care and don’t get enough quiet time and rest.
When we catch ourselves being fearful and controlling we do have a choice. We either get curious about what’s going on for us and work on resolving a destructive old pattern … or we get crazy and repeat a destructive old pattern.
Yep it’s either fight and flight when past wounds are triggered as our automatic pilot reactions repeat pushing others away, or … we rest, repair, relax and resolve the issue, surrendering our armour allowing others closer to our battle weary hearts.
If we don’t or won’t rest we become restless.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.