Our DOUBT is not our enemy. It is a word that simply describes the time our head, heart and body require to have a quick meeting to review the situation.
DOUBT just buys us a little time to check in with ourselves.
This gentle word is one I put in the “yellow” section of our hearts intuitive filing system. Our gut feelings are reliable and come colour coded in my view. Like a set of universally easy to read traffic lights. Stop, Go and Wait means the same thing the world over. Our heart intuitively alerts us with red, yellow and green feelings in the same way traffic lights signal the level of safety. Some of us listen to our hearts; others ignore our hearts wise advice and do what our ego chooses instead.
There are words that emotively give some of us red light warnings like “danger”. If we are Emotionally Fit our head, heart and body will all stop in their tracks when our intuition triggers a red light.
Green light words like “love” on the other hand for the Emotionally Fit encourage us to continue on our path, and go for it.
However the emotionally unfit amongst us (takes one to know one) sometimes get ourselves scrambled. Prior to 1995 when I was drinking and drugging to excess I became like many of us do emotionally colour blind. Weapons of Mass Distraction (booze, food, money, drugs, sex, work etc.) can render us emotionally colour blind as we over focus on our ego, ignoring our hearts intuitive compass. We may succeed physically, financially or intellectually in life, but nonetheless end up emotionally lost and deeply damaged. My life was going backwards in that emotionally unfit phase of my life for I was attracted to danger, and rejected love. So any words or people that looked like “love” I avoided and stopped any progress like I was obeying a red light. Those who were kind and generous I stopped listening to or connection with, as I had grave suspicions about love. Dangerous people places and words became green lights for me. I was attracted to anything or anyone that thought I was not worthy of a more self-respectful existence.
As for yellow light words, well they were non-existent. Delayed gratification? Forget it. It was now or never. Instant gratification also took too long!
When we worship our ego we lose our heart connection and the ability to respond to life’s wise, subtle extremely important yellow light cues we need to receive to stay emotionally safe. To become Emotionally Fitter the balance of delayed gratification needs to replace instant gratification as we integrate caution into our world.
DOUBT is a yellow light word of caution. When our heart has a DOUBT it does not mean we are right nor wrong, just that we need time to digest and absorb the situation before us. When we see a yellow light when driving in the darkness, we slow down and do more research than we usually would if we hit a red or green light. So this gentle word DOUBT often gets bypassed as being a word for those who lack confidence. Like all words we can use it with love or fear, for or against ourselves. I chose to befriend this lovely yellow light word over 20 years ago, when I became clean and sober. I am delighted to report that Mr. DOUBT has proven to be a wise and valuable friend whom I have grown to love and respect dearly.
If I ever have DOUBTS these days I check in with myself and do a mini Emotional Fitness workout. These four quick questions might help you if you find DOUBT overwhelming or confusing you too, from time to time …
- Do I have DOUBTS because this feels too good to be true for someone like me? And is it because I am still on my trainer wheels in believing I am deserving of the top shelf wonderful stuff life has to offer.
- Do I feel unsafe with this person, place or situation? If so I am allowed to give myself the gift of time and a minimum of 24 hours to sleep on it, but will ask for the luxury of 72 hours (3 days) before I make a final decision.
- If I am saying, “I don’t know” a lot about this particular situation it means my yellow light of DOUBT is flashing caution. I need to give myself permission to be a calm and patient friend to myself, slow everything down, and move at a pace that is respectful for me.
- If that person, place or situation doesn’t choose to wait for me if I am unsure, it might mean this is just not the right time for me. If apples are picked to prematurely they will be bitter. If I rush myself for someone else’s approval and hurt myself I will be resentful and bitter. I choose not to give my power away and go at a pace that is authentic for me.
So today’s Word Vitamin invites us to befriend this often-misunderstood word DOUBT and review it a little. I suggest a healthy respect for this word can add to the quality of our life. Having DOUBT doesn’t mean it’s a definite yes or a no, it can just mean … not right now, just give it a little more time.”
Sometimes taking our time to have an eye for the details that matters to us, and giving something just a little more time as we prepare it can be the difference between it being good or great. When it came to DOUBT in Benjamin Franklin’s life his advice was …
“When in DOUBT. Don’t”
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
Image Source – Modern Family