“I just can’t do this anymore”…
When we hear these words FATIGUE has entered the building!
However, it is helpful to be able to discern between the healthy, comforting kinda FATIGUE and the unhealthy discomforting type too.
I recall the overwhelming, sedative state of FATIGUE after birthing my two sons back in 1987 and 1988. Hard labour regardless of whether its birthing a child or building a dream creates most definitely physical FATIGUE yet, it is often accompanied by a sacred sense of satisfaction, emotional elation and enrichment.
The discomforting kinda FATIGUE we need to try to minimise in our lives is emotional FATIGUE. When our heart is overloaded with confusion, resentment, impatience and worry emotional FATIGUE sets in.
I work in the field of trauma and addiction for a living and have been doing so since 1995. In my early years of recovery from my own childhood trauma and adult addictions I was privileged to head up a federally funded drop in centre in the heart of Brisbane’s city heart. We were open six days a week and each year documented approximately 6000 visits from people in emotional distress. I was birthing a dream. The Emotional Fitness Foundation drop in centre in Spring Hill became a safe, free place for the walking wounded to come and rest. However, as a recovering addict myself I then found myself getting emotionally drunk on focusing on others needs as a wonderful distraction from keeping up with my own emotional housework. After our first year of operating six days a week I hit a deep state of compassion FATIGUE.
Those recovering helpaholics reading this will know exactly what I am talking about.
Confusion, resentment, impatience and worry all directed toward myself for not being able to be everything to everyone, everyday rendered me a teary FATIGUED emotional mess. I felt unable to stop my helpaholism and unable to continue. So I surrendered my ego, asked for help, did my emotional housework and took better care of myself saying no more to others, and yes more to myself. It took a while but I discovered a healthy balance, a win win for my clients, my dreams and myself.
These days I am still working in this field yet vigilant in how I distribute my emotional energy, as I am no longer a thirty three year old woman like I once was when I started the career of my dreams. I am a great deal older now and need to be discerning and not bullshit myself with how much emotional fuel I have to spend.
I now consult with my hardworking Emotional Fitness clients just a few days a week leaving me one day for my passionate love affair with writing, and the other to catch up with my sons, nesting in my beloved home and with treasured friends.
Are you looking after your emotional energy tank ensuring you are not running your life on your reserve energy tank in danger of hitting a state of damaging emotional FATIGUE?
As we review this word FATIGUE together it can be helpful for us to differentiate between the types of FATIGUE we feel.
Is our FATIGUE healthy and quietly rewarding followed by a feeling of self-respect and excitement the following day?
Or, is it leaving us feeling like we are about to internally snap, at the end of our rope followed by a feeling of dread and resentment?
May our weary and FATIGUED hearts rest in these words remembering that the best way to give our best to others, is to start by giving it to ourselves too.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™