In itself FEARLESSNESS as a word can make us feel unsafe even as we say it … for isn’t it healthy to be afraid sometimes?
Yes, it is our natural instinct to feel fear when our lives are threatened.
Too many of us though, fear love and love fear.
Love does not threaten our lives nor sanity, it is the fear that some of us attach to love that sabotages our relationship’s growth.
If we love with fear, love can never truly grow into its full potential, and if we fear love, we block new opportunities for growth.
When we become willing to allow ourselves to surrender and be FEARLESSLY vulnerable with a loved one, true intimacy and heart-healing occurs.
FEARLESS love is what we see in a newborn babies smiling faces and in our loved one’s eyes during those tender, sacred moments of pure trust.
The greatest strength and the most beautiful priceless gift we can experience is to be connected to and loved by a gentle and FEARLESS heart.
It is also important to remember we cannot ask for what we are not willing to also give.
The ground where we learn how to become FEARLESS always offers growth.
In order to become FEARLESS we have to stand in the middle of the fears we’ve avoided for too long, to tap our potential; for the fears we don’t and won’t face become our limits and sabotage our capacity to surrender and enjoy love.
For me my biggest relationship fears with lovers, friends and family are always around revealing when I am not happy. Sometimes others get emotionally lazy and neglectful in relationships. We all do. It is our responsibility alone to teach others how to treat us though. If we say nothing and enable it, it will continue. A clear wake-up call is sometimes necessary, but it takes great bravery and a FEARLESS heart.
Letting ourselves be known for all of who we are, especially when we’re unhappy, takes great courage. It’s only through facing then resolving conflict that we will ever be able to feel safe enough to love FEARLESSLY and allow ourselves to relax in our human vulnerability. This is the true meaning of intimacy. FEARLESS, safe, loyal, respectful love. No matter whether we are at our best or worst, happy or unhappy.
It takes a lifetime for most of us non-saints to master FEARLESSNESS in our relationships, as it happens gradually as our trust is earnt over time. Trust in our ability to back ourselves has to come first though. Until as adults we become willing to claim our birthright to self-protect, even if it means others may abandon and reject us, is how we earn solid self-trust.
The fearful questions many of us struggle with in intimate relationships go something like this …
1. Will I be honoured or shamed if I set new self-preserving boundaries?
2. Will they still love and want me if I say no?
3. It all comes down to that age-old question …
4. “Can you bear the accusation of betrayal from another and not betray your own heart?”
It takes an Emotionally Fit heart to stand-alone and self-honour when loved ones turn their back temporarily or permanently.
So today let us be present to our intimate fears with compassionate attention?
As we check in with ourselves, what shape is our own heart in today?
Are we fearful or FEARLESS when it comes to honouring our heartfelt truth? Let’s work on becoming more willing to give ourselves permission to finally live an empowered, more FEARLESS life.
Are you ready to take full responsibility for your own happiness and make some healthy relationship changes?
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.