Are your FRIDAY reward rituals emotionally costly?
We all thank God it’s FRIDAY after a huge week of responsibilities and routine, however some of us make a routine of FOOLISHLY dumping all responsibility on FRIDAYS.
One of my favorite mantras when it comes to evaluating whether something is emotionally healthy for us or not is that …
“Self respect is the ultimate currency.”
So if a situation or a habitual ritual is going to cost us any self-respect, it is too emotionally expensive. Self-respect is hard earned, and when damaged challenging to fully repair. Our self-respect is always ours and ours alone to preserve and manage.
For some FRIDAY FOOLISHNESS is fuelled by too much booze. If we would not do it sober, we will regret it later. Spending cash we wanted to save, drinking or drugging so much that we compromise our self respect, having sex when we were unsure, or eating too much crap hijacking our self care and waistline is emotionally demoralizing the next day.
Others simply have unaddressed anxiety about weekends. Family, couple, single or social time requires we become emotionally available. If being emotionally present to others or ourselves is something we avoid, FRIDAY FOOLISHNESS becomes our friend. We crave it in fact, for it is our leave pass on life’s most demanding assignment. Emotional intimacy. The Monday to Friday working week is of course demanding on our ego (intellect/head and physicality/body). Yes we have to be responsible adults to run a home, study or hold down a job. But from Friday to Sunday (or whatever days your allocated time off commences on) the hardest life assignment requires we work on it. Our head, heart and body need to all get on the same page and connect. An Emotionally fit person does this daily, some leave it for weekends and time off, others avoid it completely and FRIDAY FOOLISHNESS is their leave pass. What we think, how we feel and act requires consistent quality time to review and re-align …. Or not.
If we will not take time to work on emotional intimacy with ourselves, we will struggle in intimate situations with others. Without heart muscle and depth we are destined to only be able to swim in shallow ego based relationships. When in relationships, because of reluctance to do this work, some of us simply disconnect remaining emotionally absent even if we are physically present. Hungover, broke, too busy with housework and other people’s needs, remorseful, ashamed, angry, or in permanent party mode until Sunday night uninterested in emotional respond ability/responsibility.
FRIDAY FOOLISHNESS creates a domino effect for Saturday and Sunday of emotional unavailability. Sometimes we even start on a Wednesday to set up our FRIDAY to kick off a chain of weekend events that we know will ensure self-sabotage. Any “weapon of mass distraction” that we select on a FRIDAY that demands over the weekend we will become just too busy, absent, preoccupied and unreliable is costing us dearly. And usually with those dearest to us.
So today’s Word Vitamin is an invitation to review your relationship with FRIDAYS and see if you require any tweaking. If our weekends or days off are emotionally hijacked because of how we commence to unwind we may have some FRIDAY FOOLISHNESS to address.
So please allow me to repeat this self evaluation process for you to consider if you feel FRIDAY FOOLISHNESS may sometimes apply to you …
If a situation is going to cost us any self-respect, it is too emotionally expensive.
Think through to the next day and the remorse felt. Is this a hamster wheel of behavior you would like to step off? If so we need to deliberately put in place by Wednesday a new choice, and on FRIDAY follow through. If we need help to do this, we need to give ourselves permission to ask for it.
“Self respect is the ultimate currency.” May we all deliberately deposit more self-respect into the heart of our intimate lives during our non-working time, as we mature?
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
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