“There are no GUARANTEES from the viewpoint of fear, none are strong enough. From the viewpoint of love, none are necessary.”
An anonymous quote about GUARANTEES, that is brilliant in its simplicity.
People, places and things are unable to give us any iron clad GUARANTEE that will last a lifetime. In adult life we learn that even the people we love and respect the most cannot GUARANTEE they will never “drop the ball” in our relationship.
In long term relationships especially between parents and children, lovers, partners and friends with each passing decade a relationship review is essential to assess the terms and conditions.
Love is unconditional, but relationships are not.
Vows, shaking hands or giving our “word” are the closest thing we can offer as an emotional GUARANTEE. However people change, focuses shift as we mature and what we ask a ten year old to give their word and an emotive GUARANTEE about varies greatly to what we ask of them when they are twenty years of age.
Lovers and friends we know in our twenties may come and go. The ones that stay are those that offer a solid GUARANTEE not for being perfect, but about committing to being honest and emotionally transparent. When these values are upheld relationships are better equipped to endure the passage of time.
I have mentioned before one of Beautiful Barb’s most repeated phrases to me over the years and that is ….
“Love, life is under no obligation to give you what you expect”.
We would all prefer however that people in relationships with us don’t let us down, change or get it wrong and hurt us. But they will. And they do, and if love is the driving force behind the relationship coupled with a commitment from both parties to endure all of life’s seasons no matter how challenging, we are GUARANTEED a better outcome. Not a perfect one, but a better one.
Wedding vows, handshakes, heart to heart confessions and pledges to change all attempt to offer an emotive GUARANTEE. However the only lifetime GUARANTEE we get is the commitment we make to ourselves about whether we choose self-love, or self neglect to drive our choices. If we choose love, we are GUARANTEED to keep evolving into the best versions of ourselves we are able. Sometimes that means we go through phases where we are alone, having to let go of fear driven relationships.
So as we review this emotionally elusive word GUARANTEES, vows, handshakes and heart to heart pledges we have made to ourselves and others are they made from a viewpoint of fear, or love?
Madeleine Albright offers us these wonderful words of wisdom to nourish our weary hearts …
“I was taught to strive not because there were any GUARANTEES of success, because the act of striving is in itself is the only way to keep faith with life”.
Let’s not stop striving to be the best versions of ourselves, even if others do.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™