Happy words like HOLIDAYS, birthday, anniversary and Christmas for most people bring up feelings of relief and joy, not angst and sadness.
The walking wounded amongst us however, often hide in being high achievers, or busy bees. They are the do-a-holics, always on the move so they are emotionally distracted, instead of being still and paying attention to themselves and others which requires they are emotionally connected.
So many people really do find relaxing very stressful, therefore HOLIDAYS bring anxiety, arguments and awkwardness.
Being too busy can be an excuse to remain emotionally unavailable for those that find holidays with loved ones who want to connect with them, day in day out on a holiday break … a real emotional challenge.
Weapons of mass distraction like booze, food, cigarettes, excessive socialising and entertaining, drugs, pills, over exercising, porn, shopping, gambling, cleaning, social media or online gaming obsessions etc., can all kick into high gear for the emotionally unfit amongst us during HOLIDAY season.
For some of us HOLIDAYS can be times when emotional triggers of the worst times in our memories, not the best, can surface.
HOLIDAYS for most I understand represent a break away from normal life into either a state of full-on relaxing or an adventure into the unknown. I actually cherish and adore my normal life. I love my home nest, my beautiful boys, my treasured friends, my work, my amazing clients, my quaint little Rosalie Village where I buy my flowers, beautiful cheeses and bread and Merlo Coffee at Paddo where I’m greeted with warms smiles and great coffee every day.
I know I “shouldn’t” feel stressed by the thought of no routine and homesick if off on a travel adventure when on HOLIDAYS, but I sometimes still do. If I am away I also miss knowing I can pop over and see my beautiful boys within 10 minutes at any time if they are free to catch up. They are men now not boys any more and both live away from home. But being able to hear their voices regularly, cooking at home or going out to share a meal with them is also one of my life’s greatest joys.
So as you have gathered HOLIDAYS in and of themselves bring up emotional healing triggers for me and for those with similar childhood HOLIDAY horror histories. That coupled with adventures into the unknown are not my favourite, however, my darling hubby just loves it. So we alternate and one of us makes a compromise each year. Every second year it pans out we have a HOLIDAY his style, we go off leaving the safe homeland of Bris Vegas and explore. When it is my turn, we either stay at home in our nest and faff around, or go and stay at a beautiful Aussie beach somewhere, my most favourite way to relax being near water whether it’s our lovely pool at home or Mother Natures beautiful bathtub … the ocean.
HOLIDAYS are essential for our emotional health and wellbeing whether we go away to explore new lands or revisit our favourite HOLIDAY destination closer to home. My elder/therapist, who’s a bit older than me and a helluva lot wiser, ensured I heard her loud and clear in my last session with her as I questioned the necessity of taking six weeks off, I felt it was just too much.
“Cinsia (she’s German), if you choose to continue to do this type of demanding emotional work for a living, up until you’re my age, you’ll need to build up to at least eight weeks away from client work or you’ll burn out, it’s too much on the heart.”
So I just wanted to check in with you to ask what heart HOLIDAY plan do you have in place?
Even if HOLIDAYS are not due, we can ensure we make our weekends or whatever time we do have free more HOLIDAYISH.
It might just be staying home cleaning out cupboards, cooking for friends and getting in the garden (another favourite HOLIDAY pasttime of mine). Whatever style of heart HOLIDAY we choose, let’s ensure we do deliberately choose one each year.
Our hard-working head, heart and body all deserve time away from responsibility to turn off, tune out and be our own version of a complete self-indulgent, unapologetic lush.
If HOLIDAYS are bringing up too much emotional discomfort and you notice you or someone you love, is hiding in addictive or avoidant behaviour it might be time to address getting some emotional help.
So at the risk of repeating myself, let’s just really ensure we gently consider my question together before I conclude this piece.
What HOLIDAY plans do you have in place for yourself in the next 12 months?
Sacred days all to our self, where we please nobody but ourselves are a delicious luxury we all deserve.
They are holy days!
Let’s please not ignore our Emotional Fitness and hide in busyness, but deliberately take time out for the all-important, replenishing gift of a HOLIDAY.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.