Some people spend the second half of their LIVES getting over having just survived the first half.
When we have been raised in survival mode, LIVING does not come naturally; it is just not our default setting. Surviving emotional, physical, verbal or intellectual war zones in our initial years skills us with robust fight, flight and freeze reactions to life as our default setting.
Aggressive acting out keeps others at an arms length a safe distance from our battle weary heart.
Submissive retreating inwards involves people pleasing and drains our self-respect, creating apathy and boredom.
Fence sitting, remaining frozen too afraid to commit to our truth also keeps us with waiting issues (weight issues, under or over eating) playing it safe for our survival. Survival is a fear driven existence all about keeping others away from our wounded, tender heart.
LIVING requires love, and is all about allowing others closer to our wounded, tender heart. For some of us, like me, making this U turn takes a lifetime, one day at a time. Being unafraid to LIVE and love aloud is our birthright.
To make LIVING well and loving deeply and openly without apology is an art and a skill few of us Westerners master. In wandering through the ancient lane ways of Venice a few years ago, I remember seeing an unusual sight I do not often see in Australian streets. I could not help but notice many, many fathers and sons strolling arm in arm. I stood moved by one particular handsome older man. He was perhaps in his fifties, just smiling, embracing his equally handsome, stylish teenage son who was leaning into his dad. The younger daughter clung onto each of their legs looking up at them smiling, as the teenage boy affectionately included her as he played with her hair. They were waiting for the mother, a fabulously elegant, divine Sophia Lorenesque middle-aged beauty who was chatting to a shop owner. They were all LIVING aloud. Such awe inspiring human beauty. An emotional family culture very foreign for this entranced Aussie looking on, open mouthed, dazed in absolute admiration.
My previous visit to this amazing country was at 19 years of age, alone. I was just wandering the world, surviving life, on the run from myself with the aid of drugs, alcohol.
I made using males, by seducing then punishing them for the sins of my father, my art form in those days. However over three decades later I was back there again, seeing and LIVING my life aloud. I’ve learned to do my best at loving, not running from, the man of my hearts dreams, with much less fear these days. But yes … I still have so very much to learn.
Those beautiful families roaming through Venice unknowingly gifted this little Aussie with some treasured visuals. Oblivious to their art they silently and calmly demonstrated how simply and beautifully LIVING and loving aloud is done.
Nelson Mandela reminds us that …”
There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one we are capable of LIVING”.
May we all refuse to settle for just surviving life.
Let us be willing to start being a little more fearless so we can better LIVE all the days of our lives with unapologetic love aloud? It is a win, win way of life. We get to enjoy the freedom in expressing our love. And, those of us looking on (still recovering from having survived the first half of their life, like me, and maybe you) can see and hear love more clearly, for it is magically healing and a magnetic way of life!
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™