We can either plant PREFERENCE trees or grow “expectation” bushes in our hearts garden.
When dealing with life’s challenges either plant may provide fruit, however the “expectation” bush requires fertilization with our fears to grow, so any fruit that does eventually ripen is bruised with disappointment then quickly rots into bitter resentment.
A PREFERENCE trees fruit requires our time and loving patience to ground its roots deeply, but is worth the effort as the fruit it bears is more palatable as we nourish it with love and flexible wisdom. When our PREFERENCES ripen, the succulent and sweet fruit of genuine “gratitude and respect” is the result that can be shared and savored by all.
The best way I’ve found to differentiate between healthy PREFERENCE trees and fearful prickly expectation bushes when I’m in my hearts garden doing some pruning, is to ask myself the question …
“Do I have an emotional investment in the outcome of this situation?” If I do I have just planted an “expectation” tree with my fear and ego’s need to win and control.
Of course we all have PREFERENCES with outcomes in our life, but if what we want does not eventuate can we still be gentle and kind treating others and ourselves respectfully or resentfully?
It is a harsh truth in adult life, we all have to face and that is that life is under no obligation to give us what we expect, as annoying as that is at times.
If our PREFERENCE does however eventuate gratitude will light up our heart like Christmas tree fairy lights, and if it does not we have not lost self-respect nor respect from others, as we demonstrate admirable relationship sportsmanship.
So moving forward let’s remember this simple tip?
Expectations equal disappointment, resentment, and immature emotional sportsmanship whereas
PREFERENCES equal gratitude for the experience and respect for all concerned, admirable emotional sportsmanship in other words.
Emotional maintenance in our hearts garden is always time well spent, so perhaps some weeding out of our fears is overdue if we have tasted more than our fair share of disappointment and resentment lately.
William Shakespeare was an emotionally intelligent wordsmith in his day, writing about these differences between expectation and PREFERENCES way back in the 15th century reminding us that ….
“Expectations are the root of all heartache”
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™