“Love, RELIEF is your signal from your heart that you’re on the right track.”
These are the words Beautiful Barb has said gently to me since my recovery commenced in 1995 every time I have made a decision that felt wrong because it meant honouring myself.
So many unpredictable events in life bring with them unwelcome, overwhelming grief. It is only human to look for quick fixes and easy ways to unshackle ourselves from our grief. I understand first hand after too many decades of getting it so very wrong in my own life how seductive these temporary RELIEF options are.
Dumping our hearts pain looking for someone else to blame and shame most of us have tried once or twice. Did we get RELIEF, rarely and if we did it was fleeting and bought with it only more grief and heartache. Reaching for a weapon of mass distraction (booze, drugs, food, sex, spending) is also a convenient option when facing inconvenient feelings helping us to deny the emotional anxiety that accompanies our grief. Does it work long term? Nope.
Sometimes in order to discover hard earned RELIEF we need to leave people, places and situations instead of staying stuck in the cycle of blame and shame, it’s tough. Sometimes we need to stay with people, places and situations too and apologise for dumping our anger, fear and disappointment with life, love or with ourselves in someone else’s lap. Yep, that’s tough too. I have had to do both many times.
In facing the challenges and feeling the grief we always gifted with RELIEF sometimes it comes to us quickly. Then at other times it takes a while for the dust to settle before clarity and RELIEF present themselves.
How do we work out what to do when to find some sacred peace and gentle RELIEF?
We hold onto love and let go of fear.
Sometimes we need to bear the accusation betrayal from another to not betray our own heart. Marriages, partnerships, friendships and even family relationships sometimes must end in order to stop mutual wounding becoming dangerous to everyone’s emotional health and causing both parties even more grief. Some relationships need to be shut down so the emotional fear driven virus corrupting the love can be deleted.
Many of my clients have rebooted new models of relationships at a later date and found beautiful RELIEF. Others understand that the relationship has run it’s course and new opportunities need to be explored for all concerned.
So as we digest this much sought after word RELIEF let’s remember it is the hard earned reward for facing our fears and life’s challenges with the grace of a brave heart open to learning, loving and new adventures.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™