“What we find in a SOULMATE is not something wild to tame, but something WILD to run with.”
Robert Brault sums up this divine word SOULMATE in one sentence.
Having an authentic SOULMATE is not restricted to lovers only. Sometimes we are gifted with a double yolker in life and we are blessed with a SOULMATE from each gender, a lifelong lover in one person and a lifelong platonic friend too.
But first I would like to unpack the concept of what a SOULMATE actually is and is not. Of course feel free to disagree I am simply sharing a perspective for consideration to help you clarify your own viewpoint. So agree or disagree both can be helpful as we build our Emotional Fitness. Here are a few checkpoints to digest whilst evaluating what a SOULMATE is and is not to your heart.
Goalmates. These are people who come into our lives to help us achieve a goal. We enjoy intimate times with these like-minded people and build heartfelt connections. A Goalmate maybe someone who we enjoy a passion for sport with, perhaps a running partner, fellow team member on a board or charity or on a rowing, football or cycling team. However if the goalposts move and one of you becomes disinterested, injured or bored with a Goalmate sometimes the mate ship sadly ends.
Dolemates. If we are unemployed or between jobs sometimes our “besties” who are also unemployed with us feel like SOULMATES. However these relationships show their true colours once one person gains employment and the time dynamic shifts. Dolemates can sometimes be transient visitors too.
Rolemates. Are those who we are attracted to because they have what we want. It might be a career, a figure, an income or a lifestyle we are seeking. We must be mindful not to pedestal Rolemates it is unhealthy for both. Those who put Rolemates on pedastools set both parties up for a crash.
Tollmates. Those we set up to police us offer a short shelf life in adult relationships. If we set up our lover or friend to manage our money, food, addictions, intimacy advice, parental authority this co-dependency may seem like intimacy but will eventually present a heavy emotional bill. If we refuse to take full emotional responsibility for our adult selves this behavior will take its toll on our ability to sustain long-term intimacy.
Wholemates are my definition of a true SOULMATE. Those who we tell everything to. I mean everything, stuff we have never shared with another and when we do we know it’s “in the SOULMATE vault.” We are safe with their heart no matter what. SOULMATES are our whole mates. They are the ones we want to tell first whenever anything big happens, good or bad. We laugh and cry, resolve conflict and feel stronger, understood and relieved after any argument. With our SOULMATE the whole of who we are does not need editing. We are safe to shed our ego and reveal our vulnerable underbelly. They love us when we least deserve it understanding that is when we need it the most. When the rest of the world turns their back, our SOULMATE opens their arms to us.
Our SOULMATE is the one who makes the whole of our life suddenly all seem worthwhile. They bring out the best in us and understand the worst in us intimately. Our SOULMATE may not be perfect in the eyes of others but in our hearts eyes their imperfections are what make them perfect.
So there is my take on what is and is not a wholesome SOULMATE for you to consider.
I have been blessed with a few divine SOULMATES in my multiple decades on this planet. Some I am blessed to love and live with some have passed. In my view the true test of an authentic SOULMATE is that kindred wild spirit that sees and honours the wild spirit within us and encourages us to run free.
I would like to share a beautiful ancient Sanskrit word that honours the mateship accessible for all of our SOULS.
The word Namaste simply means I bow to you. My soul honours your soul. I honour the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honour the light, love, truth, beauty and peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.
So Namaste, and lotsa love from me, Cynthia to you xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™