People only treat you one way. The way you allow them to.

We have all heard the wise words that remind us that we teach people how to treat us by what we ALLOW, what we stop and what we reinforce.

Whenever we are unhappy in a relationship, if we remember the universal truth that we cannot change another, only ourselves, we have half of the problem solved. The next step is to ask ourselves when it comes to improving the quality of this relationship …

1. What am I ALLOWING that is not OK with me?

2. What do I need to stop doing that is ALLOWING this to continue?

3. What do I then need to reinforce as a new personal boundary?

Simple questions, yes. Easy to implement? Nope.

If we choose to continue to build our levels of Emotional Fitness as we mature the foundations of our self-respect relies upon asking, answering, then acting upon these three pivotal questions.

Children are unfortunately often powerless to make dramatic relationship changes, however, as an adult it is our birthright and responsibility to monitor the quality of all of our relationships. Especially the one we are having with ourselves. Our external relationships mirror a dimension of what we embrace and what we reject in our internal world. So if we choose to create more joy and less angst for ourselves these three questions again become helpful as we review any changes we need to make.

1. What am I ALLOWING to continue within my own behavior that is not in alignment with the person I choose to be?

2. What habits and rituals do I need to STOP doing that are ALLOWING my self-sabotage to continue?

3. What do I now choose to reinforce as a new self-respecting personal boundary?

When we give ourselves permission to no longer ALLOW our past fears to compromise our present lives and future dreams, joy like new seedlings starts to grow. When we remember to respond with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child we can see and be more grateful for all the good in others, our world and ourselves. Thus we ALLOW ourselves to make necessary changes and commence to really enjoy how we treat ourselves and others.

Marianne Williamson puts it beautifully …

“Joy is what happens to us when we ALLOW ourselves to recognise how good things really are.”


Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™

This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.


Cynthia Morton

Managing Director

Cynthia Morton is a bestselling Author, Blogger, Speaker and Founder of the multi award winning Emotional Fitness Program.