The art of healthy DISCUSSION is rare.
So when we come across another whom we enjoy a having a great DISCUSSION with, it is a real treat.
There is an art involving acquired skills that make a DISCUSSION either interesting instead of boring or unpleasant.
One vital reality we all need to remember and respect is that we cannot ever control the other party. So when we are in deep DISCUSSION, that is the first reality, we need to learn to honour. We can however, abide by a code of conduct in DISCUSSION for ourselves to remain true to, regardless of what the other party does. This way we ensure we build self-respect and don’t do, say or act in a way we might later regret.
The healthiest level of DISCUSSION is about ideas and constructive concepts for growth and change.
If the subject is about the relationship, a friend or family member or work, keeping the focus on betterment and what we can change in ourself to remove fear and replace it with love and respect; this is how we evolve and grow.
Principles before personalities, is an unspoken law those who have mastered the art of DISCUSSION successfully, always abide by. We all know on any given day our personalities can be attractive or unattractive. Discussing a snapshot only of an individual’s personality and criticising or character assassinating them does not lead to healthy growth for us. Nor will it enhance our DISCUSSION skills, or earn respect from whom we are having the DISCUSSION with.
So as we look at the art of DISCUSSION what ground rules or guide lines do we and loved one’s currently abide by?
I’ll share a few of mine for you to ponder that have helped myself and Mr. Delicious over the past decade grow in love, respect and learn from each other, even when we’re in disagreement. The most important one we both do our best to always honour is not interrupting the other. It is is so very helpful.
Other optional phrases that help massage new ideas, preserve our truth and make way for further healthy and creative DISCUSSION and expand on the ideas the other has offered are .. …
“I hear what you are saying and I think…” or,
“What you said makes me think about…”
And even if you don’t agree with three points out of four they’ve offered, to try to respond constructively by starting with what you are united on …“
I agree with you about…”
And when the other has shared something that is new and perhaps even challenging, even if we don’t agree rather than shutting down, we can keep opening up by simply saying ….
“I’ve never thought about it that way before…”
One of this biggest challenges in the ‘principle before personality’ approach when DISCUSSING major issues is to ensure we also listen for the actual content. Unless we become willing to take in their ideas we will find a solution or at least middle respectful ground difficult to find, even if it is to agree to disagree.
I will let you know when I have mastered the art of DISCUSSION as I am still very much a work in progress, but am making good progress albeit gradual.
One of the loveliest gifts we offer those we care about is the art of healthy DISCUSSION. For our lovers, children, family and friends to know they can rely on us for an enjoyable, honest, respectful and interesting DISCUSSION over a cuppa or a great meal is one of life’s beautiful pleasures.
One last thing for us to remember when it comes to refining the art of DISCUSSION. Regardless of whether it is with a teenager, colleague, elder or lover, is understanding we are not the most or least important, nor the neither most nor least intelligent person in the room or at the table, at all times. We all have something of value to offer each other in learning to master the art of DISCUSSION.
So when it comes to future healthy DISCUSSIONS, let’s ensure we bring love not fear to our table?
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™