“Those who consistently point out negativity, must first look at their own reflection.”
It’s important we remember this Confucius wisdom so we don’t become NEGATIVE about NEGATIVE emotions, otherwise we become the very thing we’re getting self-righteous about!
NEGATIVE feelings are not wrong, they’re just fear-fuelled whereas our positive emotions are love-fuelled. Adding more fear to NEGATIVITY is like adding petrol to a fire, it just adds to the destruction. Whereas adding love is like adding water, it’s calming and safer for everyone.
Our NEGATIVE reactions (our fears) are very important for us to honour in our relationships too, and most definitely have a place in our intimate connections with others.
These hidden feelings need to be released and weeded out of our heart’s garden regularly in order to preserve loves beauty.
Emotional weeding involves effort and ownership as our fears need to be addressed and removed as they crop up, yet not dumped at the same time on another’s heart in the process.
In order to constructively manage our NEGATIVE emotions we need to use words like …
“This is my stuff.”
“Thank you for holding this space for me and listening.”
“I know I’ve been difficult lately, I’d like to explain, not excuse what’s been going on for me.”
And perhaps …
“I’m sorry I’ve been neglectful of you, I’ve been neglectful of me too”
Owning our NEGATIVE behaviours with compassion towards ourselves is like rain on hard soil, it makes pulling the weeds of fear out a little easier as we be detox and deshame our heart’s garden.
Having NEGATIVE concerns (emotional weeds) doesn’t make us bad, but human. Removing the roots of our fears creates room for growth, emotional maturity and intimacy to occur.
Showing all of our heart’s ‘true colours’, including our NEGATIVE feelings, provides us and our loved ones with immense relief. The fresh air found in honesty, the freedom of transparency and the sunshine of genuine compassion can then all work their magic.
Thinking that admitting to NEGATIVE emotions (all shades of our heart’s truth) makes us wrong is what keeps so many people from exposing all of who they are. It also blocks them from being fully known and fully loved.
It is only when our deepest emotions, yes, all of our feelings especially the NEGATIVE ones, are released responsibly that we’re able to be understood and fully supported. Sometimes during the heat of conflict it’s tough to remember that ….
Our first discipline in honouring authentic love is to become willing to listen. Especially to the truth our own heart pleads with us to hear.
Emotional weeding allows us a chance to heal, experience a sacred and intimate trust and truly love and be loved.
So moving forward, may the courage to release the burden of any NEGATIVE worries without blame or shame be possible for us all and our loved ones.
May the colourful tender flowers in our heart’s garden be gently watered with love so we can allow ourselves and those we care so much about to open up beautifully and feel safe enough to share all of themselves in full bloom.
Lotsa love Cynthia xxx
© Copyright 2016 Cynthia J. Morton Emotional Fitness™
This Word Vitamin is an excerpt from my latest bookset “The Four Seasons of the Heart”. If you would like to order your own full set of Daily Word Vitamins one for each day of the year, in book form for yourself or as a gift just click on the SHOP tab and place your order.